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I love baking.  Baking and me are like this:

I have baked pies.

I have baked cakes. (One of them looked like a duck… but you probably noticed that…)

I am also a huge fan of cupcakes.

If I ever own a bakery, its main feature would be cupcakes.

For the refreshments after my postgrad conference last week, I contributed miniature pies: chocolate and apple.  It was a double win: everyone enjoyed the pies and I had the beneficial stress relief that baking offers before standing up in front of a room full of professors and postgrads and talking about structural analysis of medieval Welsh narrative.

But the funny thing about food is that I am not actually a huge fan of eating it.  At least, not right now.  I mean, I love to bake, I love sweet things, I have certain foods (mac and cheese, anyone?) that I cannot seem to function without.  And yet, when I bake, I rarely want to eat the cakes, pies, cupcakes, or candies.  I’d rather let other people do the eating.  Leave the baking to me.

This is due, in large part, to a medication I take for my migraines.  A possible side effect is a loss of appetite and boy, did I ever get that one.  It didn’t seem so bad when I was losing weight and feeling good about myself, but it is actually kind of annoying.  If I’m excited and distracted, I forget mealtimes.  Eating isn’t fun for me the way it is for other people.  It’s just that thing that I do to stay alive.

And yet, I love to bake!

Because sweet things are my specialty and cooking is not my forte, when I do eat, I tend to eat unhealthy things – that leftover cupcake from a friend’s party I baked for or maybe some pasta because it’s easy!  This, I am well aware, is not proper eating.

So, I have a new goal for myself.

Not only will I eat, but I will eat healthy things!  I’m not really in need of a full on special diet, but I do want to feel good about the food choices I make.  I will indulge in treats, because sweet things are my joy in life.

But I will also have meals like this one:

And I will like it!

(For the record, my grilled chicken salad and mug of hot chicken soup was delicious. Real food for the win!)