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Yes, you read that title correctly.  As I said before, bridesmaids are so last year.  I have bridesminions.  After all, I am the bride, which apparently means that everyone is here to be utterly at my disposal and to follow my every whim.

Well, doesn’t that sound like a horrible, dangerous idea?

It’s strange to me that everyone seems to agree that brides are rarely emotionally stable (or mentally stable, for that matter) and at the same time, most everyone will nod pleasantly and agree that brides are also the ones ultimately in charge of their weddings.  It’s her special day, after all, so let her have what she wants.

But she’s one mental-breakdown-over-flower-arrangements shy of crazy.  And we want her making decisions?

I hope that I haven’t reached the breakdown crazy stage just yet.  After all, I have about three months left at my disposal…

Three months…

Oh gosh…

Anyway, I have time.  Totally.  Lots of it.  Tons of it.  So, I’m not in crazy mode yet.  But whether I’m crazy or not, I don’t want to be alone in my decision-making.  I want to have gathered around me a veritable army of excellence and cunning and kindness and support and creativity who will make things happen.

What I need, I have determined, is a healthy balance of encouragement and restraint so that if the crazy does strike, I can, like some sparkly, veiled, coifed, and bejeweled monarch, become more of a figurehead than a source of power, with my minions right there to make things happen anyway.  maxresdefault

And so, to that end, I was able to gather around myself four excellent bridesminions.  I am inordinately proud of myself for my choices.  Each of my minions provides one absolutely necessary element of true bridal happiness in the planning process, and they keep things interesting.

The Helper

My Minion of Honor serves the role of Helper.  She is the one who sits up well after decent, grown up individuals would normally have gone to bed and convinces me that I am not the Bride of Failure and that it is, indeed, possible to plan a wedding with no prior experience and no clear idea of what planning a wedding entails.  She is the one who tells me that, since it is my wedding, I can have macaroni and cheese (my favorite food) served at the reception.  She is the one who plans parties and organizes and prepares and turns vague, general hopes and dreams into practical, doable realities.  Every bride needs a Helper minion and I think I pretty much won the lottery with mine.

The Enabler

Now, practicality and restraint are all well and good and necessary and they keep weddings from becoming the chaos which so many brides would probably render them, but weddings are also about personality and individuality, thinking a little outside the box and coming up with fun, possibly ridiculous ideas that just might be the best idea ever conceived.  Sometimes, it’s okay to have fun, to step away from the mundane table settings and menu planning and think about things like pony rides and cupcake dresses and things that are as wonderful as they are ridiculous.  My Enabler is the person who tells me that I can do and have whatever I want, and she comes up with ideas that I had never even considered.

Now, this probably sounds a bit dangerous.  After all, we have established the brides are by definition a bit unstable, at best.  But sometimes, what a stressed out, over-planned bride needs is to think about how much fun weddings are supposed to be.  That’s the point, after all, isn’t it?  Sometimes, we can forget that this is supposed to be something we enjoy.

The Schemer

Everyone knows that there are times when a problem needs to be solved, cunning is required, resourcefulness is needed, and, once again, the scatterbrained, just-shy-of-crazy bride is not anywhere near her usual, somewhat resourceful, cunningish self.  This is why having a Schemer is so very useful.  Brainstorming a problem results in solutions.  Things happen.  I don’t ask questions.  I just watch in awe as my wishes are performed and wedding plans magically come together.  My Schemer doesn’t just have the ability to solve problems; she seems to enjoy the challenge of it.

Plus, I know that if anyone tries to sabotage my wedding (hey, you never know what nefarious types are out there these days and I’ve seen the movies…) my Schemer will take care of them before I even know about it.

The Sister

If you have one of these, she needs to be there.  I happen to have a younger sister, which is a particularly good sort of sister to have, especially for a wedding.  She is sweet, lovely, and adorable.  She is there to help with whatever needs to get done, but she is also there to be shopped with and bonded with and sentimental with.  There is something very special about knowing that one of your bridesminions is also your sister.

Plus, you can make her do pretty much anything you want.  Every bridezilla’s dream!


I seem to be handling the whole wedding business fairly zennishly at the moment (not that I haven’t had a good many moments of deep-seated panic, but fewer than anticipated), and a large part of that is my assembled team of bridesminions.  They are uniquely mine, and I have a great deal of faith in them.  I know that no matter how crazy I become, they will be right there, putting me back together, fixing what needs to be fixed, possibly sneaking ponies into the reception, and making everything okay.

So far, Operation Wedding is proceeding as planned.